


The Fic That Started It All

by IMemeNothing (KiannaCat)



Category: Shrek (Movies), Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cursed, Fursuits, Lance is aged up Many Many Years, M/M, corn as a dildo, corussy, murrsuits, okay imma die, sin - Freeform, sugarbabbylonceylonceXD, you'll hate me more than ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 18:58:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13933257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiannaCat/pseuds/IMemeNothing
Summary: Shrek remembers meeting the love of his life, his one true thot.Suddenly, he gets a call on his iOnion. Should he answer? And if he does, will his life be forever altered? Or will he finally be taking the path that fate predestined for him?And just who is this shrexy man in the fursuit?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the fic that forged strong familial bonds between discord server members. This is the fic that gave me nightmares. This is the fic that ruined any claims to innocence I had left.  
> This is the fic that started it all.
> 
> WARNING: Not for the faint of heart. Also, I only write, like, three? Sentences here, so it's not totally my fault okay!

shrek sat in a dark corner, thinking about onions and lance  
he hadn't seen him in years, not since... the incident  
Sighing, he put his head in his hands and picked up another onion  
He could remember that day so vividly almost as if it was yesterday  
The day where he almost got catfished, ...by a furry with a bob duncan obsession..  
astranger messaged from wikifur.com. his username was...xXcreamcorncrussy69420Xx. it was beautiful  
shrek opened up the chat window and was greeted by the fateful words that would change his life forever: "hey there puke green daddy i wanna feel your large ogre hands fondle my corussy ; )"  
Before shrek could reply, he felt a tingling in his shrussy. He turned to see xXcreamcorncrussy69420Xx emerge from a Furry Portal(TM), clad head to toe in their fursona fursuit. But... only one person had ever made his shrussy tingle that way...  
"hey shrabe," lance's voice purred sensually from within his blue kitty cat fursuit. "what's crack a lackin? i can't wait to get my paws (nyah o3o uwuwu) on your meaty green shrick"  
Shrek was deeply disturbed, but at the same time, he was infatuated by the elegancy and beauty of the high quality fursuit. One thing led to another, and on that fateful night, he had realized he was gay for that beautiful blue man  
Shrek sighed. That was one long flashback, he thought. He kind of... Missed him. But after that wonderful night together, Lance left him for NASA.  
Shrek had tried calling him, but Lance insisted that their relationship couldn't continue if he wanted to become Manager someday.  
Suddenly, Shrek's onion-shaped phone rang.  
"OwO, what's this?" he questioned, picking up his iOnion. he felt his shitties expand and his shipples as he saw the caller ID. sugarbbylonceylonceXD  
"Hewwo, shruk?? its me, bbyloncey.... " lonce's voice was sexy in shrek's ears, and oh boy, did shrek miss lonce's voice. "i just wanted to tell you something shrek.,,,,,,, i miss you, your everything,,,,,,,,, your shritties, ya know? big and green titties... i miss. sorry, im gonna leave NASA so I can come back to ya. pls accept me back,,,,"  
shrek had tears in his eyes. he couldn't believe lance was really leaving nasa to come back to him. "my shrock is rock hard from just hearing you say that....lonce..........i missed u...........tell me i'm shrexy, lonce. it's been so long."  
"you're the shrexiest," lance purred, sending shivers down shrek's spine.  
Shrek felt his face grow warm. He was about to respond when suddenly, an argument broke out on the other end of the phone.   
"L-lonce? is ewything okay??"  
Lance hung up?he thot to himself. Shrek was starting to gwow worried for his more than just a furry friend Lonce. Growing more tired by the hour Shrek went into him bedroom. There on the bed he reminisced of the day he became a real man  
he grew worried and thot that it was about time shrek took matters into his OWN BIG MEATY CLAW hands. he opened his closet and put on his wildcats fursuit. "this won (1) is for lonce" he sonic rolled into the sky and turned on his find my ionion app  
his ionion app wasn't quite working. he shouted "oh JEEBUES" and flew down to the nearest furry town, there was something quite off about this town... everyone had their dicks out...? Shrek said "OwO what's this" and proceeded to scream  
shrek scampered forward on his big watermelon feet and let out a gay gasp as he saw a huge bonfire in the middle of the village. something resembling a dead animal carcass was burning in the fire, but what caught his beady ogre eye was the shreautiful boy standing in front of it. "l-loncey lonce?" shrek shrieked, barelling towards lance. "hey shraddy" lance whispered before licking shrek's right ear sensually  
"WHOMST art thou r-r-rOASTING, loncy lonce?" Shrek said, feeling his shrussy tingle like it had never tingled before. "My old fursuit," Lonce said, still licking. "I'm replacing it." Lonce pulled out a brand-spanking-new mursuit.  
Shrek gaped in horror. The new suit was blue, spiky, vaguely resembling a hedgehog. it had shrektegically placed holes for easy access. Shrek turned to Lonce and uttered: "L-Lonce... I changed for you... I rekindled my old ways... all for you... And it finally paid off?" He was overwhelmed with happiness.  
tears cascading down his cheeks, shrek knelt down and kissed lance's lussy. nuzzling his shrub chub, he offered up a single sack of Official Shrek Shittm, and with love in his voice, asked if lance would be 'his thot forever'. lance leapt joyfully into his rotten ham sharms, and declared that although he was a queen, he'd settle for being shrek's thot. shrek smiled, and lance asked where they should have their shredding. shrek looked into the distance. "cock jungle"  
shrek then lead loncey to the cock jungle. lonce kept talking sweetly with shruk while they were walkin, and he kept sayin things like "bby i cant believe were gonna have a shredding, i love yo and ya shritties". they were almost inside the cock jungle, when lonce saw a corn in the floor, and his eyes shined with happiness. "shruk, i have an idea,,,,,, and i need this corn."  
lonce picked up the corn and gave it to shreky boy. the glint in his eyes was very mischievous, and he said "shrove this corn right into my lussy. give me that corussy." shrek blushed and replied "shenrything for my loncey lance." he grabbed the corn with a firm grip. "it's corussy time, baby" he whispered into lance's ear, then tasted his shroft brown hair with some lickies.


	2. Epilogue

it was a sunny day, and shrek had never felt better now that lonce was at his side once again. they'd decided to move in together, and lived a wonderfully domestic life together, filled with corussys. shrek had never felt so strongly about one of his thots before, and decided that maybe....  
it was time for lonce to be more than his thot..  
the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, we're all cursed, but here are the names of those willing to display their participation in this work openly:  
> Tort, littlebird12j  
> Zinea, winterzinea  
> Pommela--I mean Pam--, Lanceypoo  
> Amanda, hllura  
> Athena, nymphgfs

**Author's Note:**

> I warned you.


End file.
